


Tit For Tat

by Antares



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, Games, Impersonation, Jealousy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-05
Updated: 2005-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel finds a strange note in his bed</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tit For Tat

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Wie du mir, so ich dir](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276818) by [Antares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares). 



> Kind of het-sex, but not really
> 
> I’d like to give very special thanks to Pie, who did a wonderful job with the beta! Thank you so much! All remaining mistakes are mine.

Daniel stretched languorously. Man! He had been tired last night – better make that this morning, he ruefully corrected himself. He glanced at the clock on the bedside-table: 10:39. Perfect, nearly eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. The bed beside him was empty, but that was no surprise. Jack was a morning person.

Suddenly, Daniel spotted a note on the comforter. He located his glasses and deciphered the short message: 

_If you want to know why you are naked, come to the kitchen._  


Huh? Then Daniel remembered that he had been too tired last night to undress and had only kicked his shoes under the chair, to fall like a dead man onto the bed. Now he WAS naked. No mistake here. He chuckled. So, Jack had undressed him and was now waiting in the kitchen to give him a little lecture about the proper behaviour when falling into the bed of your lover during the night. If Jack also had made coffee then Daniel was fine with the scolding.

Daniel got up, searched for his boxer-shorts, pulled them on, but nothing more, because it was always good to distract Jack with a little bit of nakedness. He stretched again and went to the bathroom. While he completed his morning routine, he thought again about Jack’s note and he sighed heavily. The lecture would certainly also include a lengthy description about how unhealthy it was to work late into the night and to be so exhausted you didn’t even possess the vigour to undress.

When Daniel entered the kitchen, Jack was nowhere to be seen. But there was fresh coffee on the coffee-maker and he poured himself a mug. Daniel smiled – Jack could be very thoughtful if he put his mind onto it. The Saturday morning paper was lying in an untidy heap on the kitchen table and just as Daniel reached to smooth it out so he could read the headlines, the kitchen door flew open and banged against the wall, causing the glasses on the shelf to rattle alarmingly. 

Wham!! One of Anubis’ super-soldiers stomped heavily into the kitchen.

After a second of immobile shock, Daniel frantically searched for a weapon. Finding nothing, he armed himself with the next best thing. A frying pan which he raised in a defensive manner. He was only too well aware how ridiculous his attempt was, but Jack had taught him that any weapon was better than none when facing an enemy.

“Hello, Daniel,” an all too familiar voice said mockingly. “A little bit under-armed, aren’t we?”

“V…Vala?” Daniel stuttered somewhat relieved but utterly puzzled. “How…?”

Oh no!

Now the note made painful sense. He had undressed her, she had undressed him. Tit for tat. Jack must be doing the weekly grocery run, something he often did when Daniel slept-in late. Who knew when he would be back? Vala had really picked a good time to mess with him.

“I couldn’t leave my Daniel without a proper good-bye kiss,” the distorted voice answered teasingly. 

“Look, Vala…,” he tried to argue, but the pretend super-soldier advanced menacingly and Daniel retreated step by step until he was stopped by the kitchen wall in his back.

“Vala, hear me out! We could have followed your ship and destroyed you. But we didn’t do it. Therefore…”

There was a catch in his voice, because in one agile movement the black soldier had struck the pan from Daniel’s grasp and her hand landed on Daniel’s naked chest. Vala’s cool leather gloves caressed and teased his nipples in one swift motion.

“Don’t!” he ordered. He tried to concentrate, but before he could formulate a plan of how to fight her best, the soldier’s second hand grabbed his groin.

“What a pity. The general didn’t get you off”, she stated laughingly, fondling what was left of his morning erection. “So, I have to do it before we start speaking in earnest.” She sighed dramatically, “The things I do for you, Daniel...” She slid her hand into his boxers.

“No! Stop it! At once!” Daniel yelled slightly hysterically and tried unsuccessfully to withdraw. But her grip was merciless and if he didn’t want to get hurt in a sensitive area, he had to will himself to stay immobile.

“Vala!” He once again tried to appeal to her logic. “We are in Jack’s house and he will be back any minute. So be a nice girl, stop it, or he will shoot you.”

“You only forget one minor detail: I’m protected by the super-soldier’s uniform. He can’t shoot me!” She laughed triumphantly. “And by the way – you ARE reacting. Therefore it can’t be so terrible.”

“It’s a natural reaction. I can’t prevent it,” Daniel tried to explain and bit on his lower lip to prevent a moan as she reached for the all too sensitive spot behind his balls. The one place that Jack liked best to drive him crazy.

“You like it,” Vala purred while she continued to caress him. “And on the ship you kissed me.”

“Adrenaline,” Daniel gasped apologetically and he couldn’t prevent the tiny sigh that escaped his lips. He cursed his body that betrayed him and made it so easy for her.

“That’s all? You’re sure? Absolutely sure you aren’t falling for my charms?”

Daniel made a quick decision. She already knew about Jack, so he gave her the only answer that would – hopefully –convince her, that she wasn’t his type. “You lack the necessary equipment,” he stated boldly.

“Oh! No dangly bits, you mean?” she laughed wholeheartedly and stepped from his personal space.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel replied very relieved that his plan had worked so well and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay.” She took of her helmet and … … Daniel nearly fell to the floor.

 

“Jack!!” he shouted and looked disbelievingly at his friend. “How…? Why the hell…?” he stammered, totally perplexed. Why would Jack impersonate Vala? He didn’t even know her!

As so often, Jack seemed to be able to read his mind. “The surveillance tapes from the Prometheus,” Jack confessed without hesitation.

“What…?” Daniel shook his head, utterly confused.

“I watched these tapes. And I saw the kiss and I saw you undressing her. And … I saw how your fingers lingered on her breasts for one moment, when she was naked. Well, I guess… I… I…”

“You had an acute attack of jealousy?” Daniel finished for him. Suddenly this all made sense to him. 

Jack put the helmet on the kitchen table. Very slowly he approached Daniel and even more slowly he extended his right hand to caress Daniel’s cheek.

“It was more than simple jealousy. I saw these pictures, saw how you bickered and bantered with her and that you allowed her to kiss you. The two of you – you played. It was never life or death.”

“But the fire-extinguisher…”

“Yes. But you wouldn’t have killed her and she wouldn’t have killed you. And for me it looked like foreplay. Suddenly I was very … very…”

“Insecure?” Daniel whispered as he saved Jack one more time from finding the right word.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“There’s no reason for that. No reason at all.” Daniel gave Jack a reassuring nod. Then he asked with a puzzled frown: “But your voice, Vala’s voice, I mean?”

“The voice modulator you once used to impersonate a Goa’uld.”

Daniel pulled Jack into his arms. “You are such an idiot,” he scolded good-naturedly. “You know, instead of going to all the trouble to …er… “borrow?” … this outfit, why didn’t you simply ask me? You know, I should be very upset with you for not trusting me.”

“I know,” Jack replied earnestly, knowing full well that Daniel was absolutely right. He pressed a little kiss onto Daniel’s forehead and then he added with his usual smirk, “but you are the forgiving one, aren’t you?” Jack tenderly stroked Daniel’s bare chest to strengthen his words.

“Don’t be too sure about it. I’ll find a way to make you pay. Er… Jack? Please, don’t pull off the gloves,” he added a little bit hesitantly. “It’s nice, the feeling of the leather on my skin.”

“You HAVE a penchant for this whole super-soldier thing!” Jack shouted half-accusingly, half-laughingly.

“I wouldn’t mind – if … if the right one came along.” Daniel felt himself blushing with this confession.

Okay, Jack knew exactly when make-up sex was being offered to him. What better way to make it worth all the hassle he had gone to in borrowing this whole super-soldier armour! He brought back his leather gloved hand to Daniel’s abdomen and caressed it with a negligent gesture.

“Now, drop your shorts and turn to the wall, human! You’re mine and I will show you my superior strength,” Jack ordered in his best command voice.

“Never!” Daniel answered defiantly and Jack knew that a delicious fight, or fantasy, or foreplay, or whatever you wanted to name it, would ensue.

 

\------------THE END-----------

 

© Antares, October 2005-10-08

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Wie du mir, so ich dir](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276818) by [Antares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares/pseuds/Antares)




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